very simple

shorty (late) edition…

Wednesday morning, on my way to work, I saw, quite possibly, the scariest thing ever.

That’s right, I was in the same car as a Kevin Federline wannabe. It was so bad that I actually pulled out the paper notebook I carry with me everywhere (normally handy for keeping track of new kitchen appliance dimensions) to write down the following:

guy on the subway today, trying waaaay too hard, wearing super baggy "hip-hop" pants with, like, ribbons hanging off of them, "retro" windbreaker, and this plaid hat. That looks like something I’ve most recently seen on K-Fed [not that I spend a lot of time looking for pictures of the guy, but he shows up on Go Fug Yourself so often that I knew I’d find a picture of the same style hat there]. He sits down next immediately next to this woman, even though half of the subway car is empty. This was only after his failed attempt to look cool standing without holding on to anything when the train started moving. He keeps adjusting the hat so that it sits at "jaunty" angles on his head, but clearly doesn’t know what to do with it.

I kind of felt bad for the guy – he was clearly trying so hard. But I had to use all of my willpower to keep from just cracking up.

Oh, and in other news, It’s now 13 days until I close on my new apartment. Two weeks from today I will be an official property owner. I’m going to be in full freak-out mode until then. I took myself to my favorite sushi place last night (Yama), where I’m actually a regular. It’s pretty damn hard to become a "regular" anywhere in NYC, but I walk in there and get greeted by name, and I can actually order my "usual". And then I started getting all sad, because It’s a lot harder to stop off for sushi at 17th and Irving when you’re commute takes you from 52nd street to 72nd street on the west side. I’ll still go there, because my friends and I all agree that it’s the best sushi in the city, but the trips will be fewer and further between.

Man, I’m already getting nostalgic and I won’t be moving for, like, three months. That’s just sad. Ok. so here’s something silly that happened on my way home from dinner. Walking up Park, I see these two idiot "punk" looking guys (again with the trying and not so much with the succeeding), who are making somewhat of a scene. They’re walking around, being very loud, exaggeratingly "drunk". And then I notice Ice Cube hanging out in front of the W Hotel with the doorman (clearly waiting for his car). And I realize that these idiots are trying to get his attention. Which is funny, because they did – but only because he was basically pointing them out as idiots to the doorman.

So that was my week so far.

…but sometimes I could do without the apartment neighbors. Tonight, as I was watching The Amazing Race, i start hearing this really odd sound. Pause the TV to investigate, and discover streaming water pouring out of my bathroom ceiling. After numerous calls to the idiot doorman, who didn’t seem to understand that "call the super, I have an emergency" didn’t actually mean "wait 20 minutes and then come upstairs yourself to do nothing but stare at the bathroom ceiling (leaving the front door unwatched in the meantime) without even the super’s phone number", the super finally stopped by. He had already been upstairs, where he discovered that the brilliant upstairs neighbor had a broken showerhead that was spraying water all over the bathroom (and hence leaking into my apartment), and instead of getting it fixed, just let it keep leaking until it not only wore away at his tile floor and grouting, but came through my ceiling.

Yeah. sometimes I think moving to the woods with no neighbors for miles might be just the thing.

Then I remember that not having neighbors doesn’t rid you of household repair issues, and waiting 20 minutes for the super doesn’t seem so bad.

My brother e-mailed me yesterday to tell me that I wasn’t updating my blog enough. I suppose it’s too late to make this thing anonymous…

I thought about posting some amusing story from our childhood that would have embarassed him, but then common sense kicked in, and I remembered that I stopped intentionally trying to humiliate him around the time he got taller than me.

The weather around here has been absolutely dreary, so there’s not a lot to photograph. I’m not writing anything (more) on that thing that everyone else keeps talking about. And I’m waiting for the field to narrow a bit before I delve into politics again, with the NYC Mayoral race up next (I know I’m going to lose all sorts of liberal cred for this one, but for all of his faults, I kind of like Bloomberg, faux republican that he is. He’s just so…pragmatic, which in the long run seems to be more productive than being an ideologue).

Oh and the governor’s race too! I’m already getting e-mails from the "lawyers for Spitzer" campaign (which apparently got the mailing list from the lawyers for Kerry campaign), and while I like the guy, I think it’s a little too early to throw my support behind only one of the 2700 democratic nominees.

So here’s some completely random, sort of non-political stuff that I’ve been reading about lately.

First, plants that can apparently fix their own genetic deformities (warning, the article makes mention of evolution, so if you’re one of these people, don’t click on the link lest it offend your delicate sensibilities).

Second, take a look at the most obviously skewed bar graph that I’ve ever seen on a "legitimate" news site. I mean, really. The very first day of my statistical political science class back in college, we were specifically told to never, ever, present information this way. What’s really amazing is just how obvious it is…

and Third, and absolutely most frivolously, apparently some people are up in arms about about the Gap dropping SJP from it’s ad campaign. which is funny, because she was quite possibly the most annoying character on SATC, and most "regular" women really can’t relate to a spokesperson who reportedly needs to "take in" her size 0 clothing. And I don’t know anyone who liked those commercials ("I enjoy being a girl?" please. I enjoy being able to find inexpensive work-appropriate clothing that fits without being patronized to by a horse-faced, infantalized, anorexic 40-year old). Oh, and Gap sales keep falling, so perhaps spending $38 million to essentially feed one person’s ego wasn’t the best use of funds.

Now I’m going back to nurse my migraine some more.

I live in the Union Square/Flatiron neighborhood, and was always fascinated by the building that houses (housed?) the Odd-Job (particularly after it was featured in a photo exhibit at the Urban League put together a few years back by my parent’s friends), and I had absolutely no idea that it was going to be torn down. I always thought it was a bit of a shame that it housed a discount store, but it was a pretty prominent example of mid-century modern architecture, and with better neighbors (rather than the low-rent canal street wannabe that is 14th street between University and 5th), it could even have been a neighborhood gem. Well, no more. They’ll probably replace it with yet another boxy NYU dorm.

It’s times like this that the thought of my possible moving to the Upper West Side gets just a little bit more promising.

This morning at 8, I made my way up to Central Park. Got off the bus at the CPZoo entrance, and they were still all wrapped up. Then ran into a few other determined people who were looking for the action to all start, and when we went over the ridge, there they were.

Teams running up parallel paths, trailed by large crowds of people, as the wrappings were pulled off and the fabric was set free. I wandered around taking pictures, finally exiting at the oh so appropriate Artists’ Gate. It was gorgeous.

More:

New York Times: Dressing the Park in Orange, and Pleats
Gothamist: The Gates are Open

[Update 2015] In an effort to reduce the number of holdover pages on the blog, I am slowly (very slowly) integrating these albums into the appropriate historical posts on the blog itself. As such, photos referenced in this post now appear directly below.

For some reason, the oddest experiences I’ve had with complete strangers here in New York seem to occur on the bus. Tonight for example, I took the bus home, and as it was approaching my stop, I got up to go stand by the front door (as you do when you want to get off the bus), and a few people lined up behind me presumably for the same reason. About 20 feet before the stop, this woman comes barging frantically up to the front of the bus, pushing the standing passengers out of the way, to ask the driver an urgent question. She wanted to know when the bus would stop at 68th street.

I should point out here that this was the downtown bus, and we were at 20th street. I had been on the bus since 52nd street. 5th Avenue only runs in one direction. But it gets better.

The driver, of course, points out that she’s going in the complete opposite direction from where she needs to go, and she asks whether the bus will eventually go uptown (ok, that’s not the crazy question). However, this is the last run for the driver, so he tells her that he goes to 8th street and then takes the bus out of service to go to the depot. This is where she starts arguing with him about why he can’t just take her where she wants to go (um, because he’s a city bus, and not a cab?). He tries to tell her that she can get off the bus and walk over to either Park/Madison or 6th Avenue (one block either east or west, depending on where she wants to go) to catch an uptown bus, and she reacts like this is the most ridiculous suggestion in the world because "‘it’s too cold to get off the bus". This is, of course, when I and my fellow passengers disembark, looking at the poor driver with pity, all thinking "lady, it’s not going to get any warmer when he kicks your ass off the bus 20 blocks further downtown." And then, as soon as the bus doors closed, the group of us, with your typical New York mix of ages, races and classes, just all stop in our tracks and crack up laughing.

Ten seconds later, we were all back to our usual selves, walking in our respective directions like it never happened. But man, I love those little moments.

Things that pissed me off this weekend…

• So, the hot chocolate festival was completely lame yesterday – I stopped by, but didn’t even take any pictures because it was actually somewhat pathetic (and after all the hype!). The ice rink? was "synthetic ice" that you could skate on with ice skates, but was so small that you couldn’t fit more than a few people a a time. The "sidewalks piled with snow that would be imported in? was chunks of week old sidewalk snow from last weekend’s blizzard, that was impossible to play in. As I walked down the street I could feel palpable disappointment in the parents and kids that I passed. Oh, and for all the hype about the hot chocolate itself, City Bakery was apparently charging $2 for a sample-size cup. So I essentially walked by making like I was just going over to sixth avenue, lest anyone think this "festival" was my actual destination. I don’t know if they thought the blizzard would negate their need to import snow, or if it was a little too warm to make things work (it was actually in the mid 30s), but it was quite poorly executed. I’m actually mad at myself for telling other people about it.
• Thanks, New York Times, for giving away the "major plot twist" to Million Dollar Baby in the friggin’ headline. Hint: Don’t click on the link if you don’t want to know. And putting a disclaimer in the second paragraph of the article doesn’t exactly work when your headline is "Groups Criticize ‘Baby’ for Message on [XXXXXXXXX]". Some of us actually haven’t seen the film yet, even here in New York where it’s actually been playing.
• And in my personal life, I woke up this morning with what appears to be a stye in my left eye. Which really, really sucks. my eyelid is swollen and I look like I got punched in the face. And I’m stuck wearing my glasses, which also sucks because the lack of peripheral vision will give me a massive headache by the end of the day.
• Oh, and Fresh Direct forgot one of the boxes in my order last night. The one with all of the Diet Coke (among other things). And when I called them, they’re all "we can deliver it from 2-4 on Wednesday," forcing me to point out that the reason I’m scheduling deliveries at 10pm on Sunday nights is precisely because I work during the week. and then when we finally figure out a new deliver time for the missing $20 worth of groceries? The guy is like, "and we won’t even charge you for delivery!" in this tone that is totally like he’s doing me a solid. My response? an incredulous "well I certainly hope not, as you guys fucked up, and not only would charging me for a second delivery in this circumstance be unethical, I’m pretty sure it would be illegal as well…"

Wow. now I feel a little bit better.

It’s actually kind of amusing that the original estimates of 3-5 years to fix the signal lines on the A/C trains have been drastically reduced to 9 months (hey – maybe the MTA administration won’t all be getting new automobiles this year!). And the only train that has completely stopped service is the C, for now.

What I find really amazing though, as related in this NY Times article, is that our incredibly antiquated transportation system (101 years old) may actually be a benefit in this situation (an extremely slow benefit, but still). I mean, if the entire system was dependent on computers and conductor-less trains (which they were going to start testing next year), there’s no way that they could engage in the kind of stop-gap measures they’re engaging in now.

Thanks to a single fire this weekend, service will be out on the A and C trains for the next 3-5 years. Yeah, that should be fun for the commuters. Yet this only reduces the number of trains running up the upper west side to, well, several (the 1/9 up Broadway, and the B/D up Central Park West for starters). The upper east side? still only has one train (the extra narrow 4/5/6 up Lexington). And apparently always will, as whatever money the MTA thought was going to fall out of the sky to pay for a 2nd Avenue line (not to mention the west side extension, part of the olympic stadium/jets arena boondoggle) is now clearly going to go to fix the 600 signals that have been destroyed thanks to the fire.

And Curbed has some insight into the effect on the real estate market. Apparently it will suck slightly more to live along the route. Of course, in this town, that means that you’ll only be able to get 900K for your one bedroom walkup instead of $1.1 million. (I’ve been spending a little too much of my free time browsing the real estate listings recently – can you tell?).

There is always that forgotten middle child of the New York City transit system – the bus!

(I’ll admit that I actually love the bus, but I like it precisely because it’s so slow – I can usually read a full chapter or two of whatever book I’ve got with me on the two mile journey from my office to my home. And I only take the bus when I’ve got nowhere to be, like on my way home from work – If I’m in a hurry (like on my way to work), it’s all about the subway or a taxi)

And how about that. I just realized, looking at the date of the entry form, that today would have been my Mom’s 55th birthday. Happy Birthday Mom, wherever you are……