Trying too hard

by sam on 06/3/2006

I get a lot of junk mail. Usually 4 or 5 catalogs a day. I’m not entirely sure how it happened, as I never signed up for any of them, and they all seemed to follow me and grow in number when I moved (Seriously, now, what the hell am I going to do with a catalog for patio furniture?).

So, Friday, I’m at the mailboxes, flipping through the mail and tossing what I don’t want (we have a conveniently located recycling bin in the lobby right next to the mailboxes, which I take full advantage of), and I come across the funniest piece of junk mail I’ve gotten in quite a while. It’s from some sort of religious group, and it’s about their new “God on Film” series. Now, aside from the fact that a church would send my liberal jewish/atheist self an invitation to their seminar, they’re clearly reaching for a theme here (“reaching” being the operative word).

It starts off with what is obviously the hook:

June 4 The Da Vinci Code: the truth behind the fictiion, part 1
June 11 The Da Vinci Code: the truth behind the fiction, part 2

OK, fine, everyone and their mother is talking about the Da Vinci Code. I personally think it was a hacktastic book (perfectly fine beach reading, but, um, obviously fiction, and not particularly well written). Clearly this one makes sense. Then…

June 18 Cars: what drives my life?

June 25 Click: pausing for what matters most

July 2 Superman Returns: how to begin again

Disney movies and comic books as life lessons? Sure I get the whole superhero parable, but the “theme” for the cars discussion just cracks me up. “Hey, it’s a movie about computer animated cars! clearly we can tie this to how to live your life!” Too funny. But not as funny as the final two – here’s the first:

July 9 The Devil Wears Prada: succeeding in stressful situations

Haaa! Ha Ha Ha. Sorry, I can’t stop laughing. Because, if you don’t know, the movie is about a bitchy Anna Wintour clone and, is based on a tell-all book written by a woman who used to work for her. The movie is clearly intended to be satire. incredibly bitchy satire. Being analyzed by a church group to discuss how to succeed at work!! And then there’s this…

July 16 Pirates of the Caribbean: escaping the bonds of debt

Now I’m falling out of my chair because I can’t stop giggling. Because apparently the message you’re supposed to take from a movie about Johnny Depp dressed up in Keith Richards drag hamming it up as a pirate from a Disney ride (oh, sorry, the sequel to the movie based on the Disney ride), squaring off against Bill Nighy dressed like a giant squid, is how to pay off your credit cards. Hee heee heeee. Sorry. no, wait. heee heee ha ha ha.

OK, now I realize that these are actually timed with the movie releases, and they’re trying to imply some sort of hipness or something. But seriously. I’m still giggling. Come on! Pirates of the friggin’ Caribbean!! As a life lesson! about managing debt! What isn’t funny about that?

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